Third Times the Charm: Revisiting India

For the longest time I used to say I’m from a country that has no name. Although born and raised in America, I’ve never felt I was American. With immigrant parents from Punjab, India, I also never felt Indian. Perhaps I have something against feeling patriotic about nations. Perhaps it was the feeling that I could never please the two contradicting sides, of being American and being Indian; one telling me I can be whoever I want to be, while the other telling me my existence is to please others. Every time I met people who visited India for the first time, talking about how much beauty and greatness in the culture they saw, I was a little heartbroken and a little bit jealous. I wanted to see what they saw, but could never look past the not-so-hidden levels of sexism, racism, and classism. In 2017/2018, after going back to India some 12 years later, I thought this time I would see India through a different lens, that of my own and not sheltered by my parents. But nothing changed. The world progressed as I saw myself go back in time. Defeated, I focused on capturing the serenity of India amidst the chaos, because that in itself was the contradicting beauty.

As we arrived at our relatives' home after an eight-hour drive from New Delhi to Nawanshahr, Punjab, there hung an American flag in the bathroom. I laughed at the irony.

“Free Bus Seva,” in other words, free bus service.

Street food.

Elephants are considered sacred in India because of the Hindu God Ganesh. However, oftentimes, as in this picture, they are used as “props” by beggars.

Langar Seva. In Sikh Gurdwaras, Langar Seva is the community kitchen, where all visitors are served free meals no matter their race, caste, sex, financial status, etc.

I think this calf was only a few days old.

My great uncle picked sugarcane for us from a stranger’s field, which we ended up feeding to the elephant in the earlier picture.